I married Eric one week before my thirtieth birthday. He was impressive even before I fell for him: well educated, well spoken — and a musician. He was handsome, but not too (I did not want a husband “prettier” than me).
Two weeks after our three day honeymoon, I was sitting on the front steps of our little thirty some foot mobile home. With downcast eyes, chin in hand, I asked myself, “Could I really love this man for a lifetime. Panic set in. “What if he was not the man I thought he was, no more dates, no other man — forever!” Right then, my older sister walked past me on the dirt road in front of the trailer. She sensed my discouragement, stopped and said, “Go in and make a home for Eric, or you will lose everything you ever dreamed of.” A bit frustrated since my new husband was making the lowest salary allowable by law, I said, “With what?” Her answer was profound, “With what you have.”
An idea began to grow with idealistic fervor: If any wife has ever lived by the Bible, I would. That’s what I strived for from that moment.
I smile at my idealism more than thirty five years later, yet, somehow those ideas solidified. Eric and I would have more to learn than we imagined, but we believed that God is right and He is good. Through the trials and years our marriage became strong. It is still romantic and more fun than ever. Our three grown sons are successful contributors to the world around them.
What happened between then and today, is the story of the book, Submission Is Not Silence. It is instruction that I wrote to myself. More importantly, it is my philosophy as I studied and learned what I believe the Bible says about women, about their role and their marriage.
I found the Bible provides us a solid philosophy that guides every decision. It comes to life if you take it seriously. It did for me. In desperation at first, I tried to understand it in black and white; it was cold on the page. But knowing God is always right, I persisted, and it began to make amazing sense as I put it into practice. It became clearer in my head day by day. I became an initiator and more confident as what I studied worked. When our relationship as husband and wife went on the skids, this accurate guidance saved our marriage.
Why should it be surprising? God wrote it to go along beside us, a handbook.
“All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.”” (2 Timothy 3:16)
I would live by the Bible, no matter what it meant. I would rub my nose in the dust, if that was what being a good wife would mean. But that was not what the Bible required. That desperate thinking was like a slap in the face of God who created me to have “dominion over all the earth” beside my new husband.
You never know what He will accomplish, especially when you believe in Him.
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