Before I understood the balance of power God instilled in women, I failed to speak up with courage in our marriage. I had a strong point of view; I even felt it in my chest when the differences between Eric and me came up, but I was not at all sure what God expected of me. Mistakenly, I thought submission to him meant silence. But there was a little more: I was afraid.

And what I didn’t know hurt me. I assumed that slave like or childlike obedience as to a master was what being obedient to God meant. What an insult to God.

My lack of understanding of what the Bible teaches, together with my fear of stepping up and expressing who I am, brought suffering to our relationship. Eric could not know what I thought, because I was afraid to say what I thought, afraid of his reactions. I was unaware of the power of my personal perspective. And how could he know? I wasn’t sharing it.

Built into every female is a counterpart point of view. Because you are a female “created in the image of God” there is wisdom that is uniquely in you. Assuming your privileged position brings more love and more respect from your husband . . . and much more balance to your marriage. It certainly has with our relationship now going on forty-two years.

There is a key to knowing that you are half of your marriage. This “key” takes faith and courage: “But speaking the truth in love . . . grow up . . . ” (Ephesians 4:15).

Stepping up with courage to express who you are and what you think, carefully speaking truth from your point of view, speaking it thoughtfully and with respect for him is a key to bringing understanding to your marriage.

He may react to your views. They are often surprising to him! Like good food, he will likely thrive as you speak up with the truth. You are “building your house” when you do. He will admire this, even if at first he is irritated. His strong irritation and reaction will eventually fade when he comes to expect that you will speak up with respect and care for your future. He will recognize respect for him.

Win him every day because you step up and express the truth in love. Ultimately this is the way to his heart. I failed right in the beginning of our marriage. But now, I have won my husband’s respect. Both of us have grown! When I would grow silent, he would even pursue me and let me know he wanted my opinion. What an experience!

Here is a way to closeness and happiness with the man you hope to spend the rest of your life with: “Ponder it . . .Then speak the truth in love”

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