“It is not good that the man should be alone…” (Gen 2:18)

Men often languish or die without a good woman. No matter what a man does alone, he will have no future without a woman to carry the next generation in her womb. Never will he have the comfort from one who knows him best. He will have no counsel from one on his side when life grows dismally hard, and it will.

When you understand the implications of your appearance onto the “stage of life,” this planet, and how you fit into the scheme of things, how much you are wanted and needed by a man, then you will know that you are the “leading lady”. Your significant role was planned by God from the beginning. Hold on to this when you doubt your significance. Knowing and believing God’s plan for you is the catalyst for playing your role well.

Every woman is born with innate gifts to rescue a man from lonesomeness. You have intuitive thoughts and feelings about:
• Your domicile
• Your husband
• His decisions
• His destiny
• Your children
• How well the household runs
• Health
• Cleanliness
…and on and on. Men do not have the same empathy, burden and knowledge for all of this detail. More than this, a woman is born and equipped with temperament, abilities and opportunities designed by God. You create a beautiful, soft, compassionate role, yet you are “the only one just like you” never before seen and never to be seen again.

The Bible provides a solid foundation of knowledge and information for every woman, every wife. It takes into account your unique gifts. Scripture is a “lamp to your feet; a light to your path.” You are created to stand face to face with your husband offering the best that is innately female to him: “Two,” said God, “Will be one flesh.” (Gen 2:24).

Over time you will learn how to do this well and how to be courageous, (some men resist counsel when you first offer it). And he will learn to depend on it.

“And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man (Greek: a human being, individual) should be alone (Greek: separation, alone) I will make him a help meet (Greek: a front, part opposite specifically a counterpart, over against or before), for him.” (Gen 2:18)

Mankind has experienced tragedy and loss through history, sin beginning a downward spiral. Much of the sadness has been right inside our marriages (my own included). Why do men and women seem destined to be antagonists, to hurt one another, to think oppositely? Yet in this struggle against our weakness we can gain strength. We experience our need for wisdom. We learn humility. We learn to admit we are not always right.

Choose to respect your husband because he is your “head.” In the end you will be surprised at how both perspectives, his and yours, are needed to come to a balanced view. (He may not be the only difficult one.) Interact with your husband carefully with respect and remaining affectionate; it changes everything. You become his trusted friend. Offer your perspective, not seeming to teach, do not nag and do not browbeat him. It is a skill you need to learn. Learning to interact with a respectful attitude gives him the confidence that he is still your “head” and protector. You have a personality he needs and craves.

But remember this: If you do not tell him, he will not know. Mind reading is a trick for the circus side show. Your husband can not read your mind. If he needs to be told something (i.e. that he’s wrong: there is an alternative to that attitude; speaking harshly will hurt the children; doing it “that” way will …) you are the one to say it. It is you who knows what your home can become. It is you who learns to have the courage to tell him.

Without you, God knew he would not know.

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  1. Anonymous says:

    Men do need women. Women need men. We complete one another. We are designed to be desired by men. Unfortunately, some women use it to trap men. But when a woman knows her worth, she doesn't look for love in the wrong places. She instead looks to the Lord and trusts Him to meet her needs.

  2. Lizzie says:

    Right; and know that what you have to add to the conversation is worth offering him, "speaking the truth in love." Breathe a prayer, and say what is in your heart.

  3. Tonya says:

    Although singles CAN be complete without the opposite sex as well. I personally think this is easier for women than for men though. Having been single until age 31, I can appreciate both.

    One of the mysteries of marriage is how amazingly "two can come as two and leave as one".

    We had this song sung at our wedding, 23 years ago, which, when sung is a witness to what God has in mind for marriage:

  4. Lizzie says:

    Those gifted in celibacy are in fact gifted. Yes. Thanks, Tonya. Good comment.

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