One week before my thirtieth birthday, I married Eric. He was impressive even before I fell for him: well educated, well spoken — and a musician. He was handsome, but not too (I did not want a husband “prettier” than me).

Two weeks after our three day honeymoon, I was sitting on the front steps of our thirty foot mobile home. With downcast eyes, chin in hand, I asked myself, “Could I really love this man for a lifetime?” Panic set in. What if he was not the man I thought he was, no more dates, no other man — forever! Right then, my older sister walked past me on the dirt road in front of the trailer. She sensed my discouragement, stopped and said, “Go in and make a home for Eric, or you will lose everything you ever dreamed of.” A bit frustrated since my new husband was making the lowest salary allowable by law, I said, “With what?” Her answer was profound, “With what you have.”

With idealistic fervor, an idea began to grow: If any wife has ever lived by the Bible, I would. That’s what I strived for from that moment.

More than thirty years later, I smile at my idealism yet, somehow, those ideas solidified. Though Eric and I would have more to learn than we imagined we believed that God is right. He is good. Through the trials and years our marriage became strong. It is still romantic and more fun than ever. Our three grown sons are successful contributors to the world around them.

What happened between then and today, is the story of my [upcoming] book, Submission Is Not Silence . It is instruction that I have written to myself. More important: it is my philosophy as I studied and learned what I believe the Bible says about women, about their role and their marriage.

More than doctrine what the Bible provides is a solid philosophy that guides every decision. The Bible comes to life if you take it seriously. It did for me. In desperation at first, I tried to understand it in black and white; it was cold on the page. But knowing God is always right, I persisted, and it began to make amazing sense as I put it into practice. It was becoming clearer in my head day by day. I was becoming an initiator, a bit more confident as what I said and did worked. When our relationship as husband and wife went on the skids, this accurate guidance saved our marriage.

Why should it be surprising? God wrote it to go along beside us, a handbook. “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.” II Ti 3:16.

I would live by the Bible, no matter what it meant. I would rub my nose in the dust, if that was what being a good wife would mean. But that was not what the Bible required. That desperate thinking was like a slap in the face of God who created me to have “dominion over all the earth” beside my new husband.

You never know what He will accomplish, especially when you believe in Him.

What do you think?
Make a comment.

• When you fall in love, how do you stay there?
• Do you have a personal philosophy? What is it based upon?
• Do you have promises from Scripture in your heart and mind?

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2 Responses to WITH WHAT YOU HAVE

  1. Anonymous says:


    The blog entitled, With What You Have, is so moving. I think we all have felt the same way and had the same doubts about our marriages and our spouses. But, our faith will make all the difference. I find joy in being married to your son, Zach. We may have a “tiff” at the drop of a hat, but we love each other and move past it. God put Zachy in my life and he completes me. I feel whole because I have an encouraging husband. Good job; you and Papa J raised wonderful men.

    Connie is very intuitive and wise. We all have to work with what we have. Some wives can choose to see the glass half empty and complain they don’t have enough, but a wise woman builds her home, regardless of what valuables she has. And our true “valuables” are, in my opinion, our family members. I remember just marrying Zach and moving into the nightmare of a house on Nottingham. God led me to open the windows and let light in that house. God helped me to make it a home. Praise His holy name.

    Thank you for all your encouragement. You’re a fabulous mom-in- law, gramsie, and mother! I’m blessed to have you and Papa J in my life.

    Talk you soon and keep those blog entries coming.



  2. Lizzie says:

    Roxy: I still remember walking into that house after you and Zach married. It no longer looked like a bachelor pad. You created a charming home in a matter of days – with what you had. Zach smiled much more. Lizzie

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