When men micromanage their wives they do not have enough to do.
Her husband was a minister, a Doctor of Theology, powerful and well known. He forbade his wife to drink coffee because it wasn’t good for her. Yet coffee was one of her most enjoyable past times. She drank coffee anyway when she was not at home and not with him. For her it was a small, if covert, comfort within a world filled with hardship. After they died “new science discoveries” claimed definite benefits to the brain from drinking coffee.
There are two very different types of leadership men can implement: one is based upon Scripture, where he leads by example, the other that has no basis in Scripture where he leads as a despotic “lord” over his wife. Clearly, the command to drink no coffee did not come from scripture. His requirement came from the “science” of the day, and did not consider her viewpoint or needs. A point of view coming from the science we read is subject to change.
When men tell their wives that the laundry loads are too small because it wastes water, they take power away from their wives. When men make a final decision on the table lamp for the décor, they take power away. When she must report before going out…anywhere, she is not trusted, and knows it. This could drive a woman toward one of two equally bad extremes: she could become so withdrawn she expresses no personality or, she could become covertly (or openly) rebellious.
A micromanager can possibly manage his home into destruction.
The husband of the wise woman in Proverbs 31 could not have been a micromanager. Read the chapter about her. This woman accomplishes so much it makes the rest of us exhausted: who can equal her! She is full of initiative, gifts, opinions and power!
Her husband is only mentioned twice in the chapter: the story is of her. “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life”. (Pro 31:11, 12) And, “Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. ‘Many daughters have done virtuously, but you excel them all’”. (Pro 31:28, 29)
A husband fulfilling his destiny is too busy and involved with his work to tell his wife what to do. He trusts his wife to do her part; he knows her decisions will speak for them both. Her husband knows she is frugal, her heart is with him. Her initiative “tells” him she understands his heart and what it means to work hard. Both keep their hearts at home: safe in the other’s care.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
…ARE YOU OUT THERE?
• Is overspending on the credit card your right?
• Is your work ever done? When you are caught up, what do you do?
• How do you approach a husband who thinks he is never wrong?