THE PROCESS OF COMING TO AGREEMENT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN AGREEMENT ITSELF!

Stay in tune with your husband. This is not the same as agreeing with him. Coming to agreement is a process . . . more important than agreement itself. You think what you think!

You can only do your part, but stepping up “speaking truth in love,” you can and should give your husband your ideas and point of view. When Eric and I married, I didn’t know how to share my point of view. When I disagreed with him (and it was getting more and more often) I stayed safe. I was quiet. Now I wonder, “Why?” Fear of hurting his feelings . . . fear of his reaction . . . but stifling some very strong feelings and ideas was leading to trouble.

As I grew up, I observed often in our travels that many married women seemed to lead covert lives. They hid whatever they could from controlling husbands. Their feeling of powerlessness; how painful!  But not you, with your best wisdom and with courage can do what I finally learned to do . . . only after fourteen years and the near collapse of our marriage and family.

You will never be reduced to a covert life as you work to stay in touch: sharing your ideas and mind with your husband . . . and listening to his. How amazing when thinking, plans, hopes and dreams come together: openness with each other builds your future . . . your respect affirms him.  Your courage and good intentions earn his respect . . . love is built on it.

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