Women live historically with the burden of having been controlled first by her father, then the culture and later her husband. It didn’t matter much what she thought or believed. But today, if a woman looks and considers carefully where her loyalty should be when she marries, her chance for fulfillment will be much more likely. It is to her that God gives the leverage; it is from her character and her heart and decision making that the loyalty comes. It cannot be imposed . . . if indeed it is genuine loyalty.
Her happiness, her husband’s and their household has much to do with her belief system and confidence. I refer to a woman here, but the same qualifications and responsibility apply to every husband (every father, brother, etc). To a husband initially Scripture speaks, “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself . . . ” (Ephesians 5:33).
A girl marries: among other pursuits, she is “guide” of her home, or in Greek “ruler of a family”. And in one place married girls are told to “be discreet, chaste, keepers at home (to be ware, a guard) good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” (Titus 2:5) In her lies the leverage: will she be truly loyal to this one place, her husband, her household? This loyalty should come first to her husband (after her loyalty to God) as opposed to having first loyalty to any other place! Like . . .
- Work (outside, inside home, the church)
- Other members of her family
- Her friends
- Ardent beliefs in politics, the Church, etc.
When there are other interests calling for first place, conflicting for first loyalty, you and I must choose one to follow and let the others fall into second and third, or be pushed aside.
The greatest investment for the future, the most powerful decisions you make are for those close by who need and love you. Choosing gets simpler in time . . . your husband and the others who depend upon you . . . “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.” (Ephesians 5:21) Your decisions bring unity and comfort or sadness and chaos to your household. “Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish plucks it down with her hands.” (Proverbs 14:1)
It is clear with this title “Ruler of a Family” that enslavement and loss of identity because you are married is nowhere in the future.