In the beginning of our marriage Eric and I didn’t understand how to work out our differences in the mystery that is marriage. We just took next step as we went along. Practice made it more perfect. The truth of Scripture works like a miracle when it is properly applied.

You, like all others, want a great marriage. But if the truth be told you will eventually fall into THE BIG ROW. There will be things about which you and your husband will not agree. Those times feel like your marriage is a lost cause. But dig in. This is the time where submission can not be silence. When both are confident you are right, both together must find a common ground—you together must find a solution.

Proverbs 14:1 says, “Every wise woman builds her house . . .” Why is she alone mentioned here? You are the only one who has complete control of the situation as you understand it; you are the only one who knows what you think (just as he is the only one who knows what he thinks). But you have complete control over you. There is so much you can do. You have in your hands the building blocks of your house. Remember this, “A soft answer turns away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1)

This is the time not to be silent, but to tactfully offer your solution; it’s called “fighting fair”. A bitter pill needs to be sugar coated. Find something positive about your husband’s position (there is always something) and start with that before you spring the part you think he won’t like. A good critique always has a positive opening. Praise your husband for what is good. Your calmness and confidence in times of tension “earn” your husband’s respect. Convince him of your loyalty. If you are silent when speaking up is called for then instead of building your house, you are allowing your marriage to disintegrate.

Live beside your husband in a way that he knows you value him. And earn his respect by fighting fairly. An angry husband is still human; most often he will respond to quiet confidence and sincerity from you. Self respect for your role as his counterpart shows your strength as his wife. You “earn” your husband’s respect when you continually grow in spiritual depth and conviction.

NEXT: Speak the truth in love . . . courageously

Glad you are there. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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4 Responses to SOLVING THE BIG ROW

  1. Anonymous says:

    Not quite understanding what you mean by 'the big row'. Is this a common phrase that I'm just not keen on?

  2. Lizzie says:

    That would be a clash, a strong disagreement . . . "row", "ou" as in ouch; dispute, quarrel.

    Have you had one yet? There are techniques to "grow" your marriage even in the middle of them.

    What do you think?

  3. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for clarifying. I didn't know that 'row' was another word for argument, so I didn't get it. I read 'row' as in 'row your boat' or 'row of houses' – but neither usage made sense to me here. So it's my new word of the day!

  4. Lizzie says:

    Good for you; and thanks for commenting.

    Look for a new topic soon.

    "Let's get Polished" "That our daughters may be as cornerstones, polished after the similitude of a palace.

    Would this topic interest you?

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