Be swift to hear. Be slow to speak. Slow to anger. James 1:19.
Do you know what your husband just said? Do you have any intention of considering, mulling over or contemplating the meaning of it? Is there any chance in hell you plan to listen, yield to it!
The man you married was reared the way he was. He has the personality, gifts and desires and hopes and dreams that he does. Do you know them? Do you care? Have you been a friend by counsel, by assisting, by promoting him, by making him “look good”? Is he better off because of you?
You have a duty to give him the advantage! You have an opportunity to “get in there” and encourage him. What you gain as you get into line with your husband’s purpose and destiny is set yourself up to be loved, appreciated, wanted and adored!
In a big, dark world, he doesn’t have a soul on his side, unless he has you . . . his other self. You are the female in this male-female dynamic. You can “make him”; you can absolutely make all the difference!
You are “meet” for him. This simply means you are positioned to stand face to face as husband and wife in God’s sight. Genesis 2:18 As you stand gazing at him, what do you see?
If he is hard and controlling he is helped when you do not cave in to his attempts.
If he is afraid, you stand strong in a female posture of unchanging loyalty. When he is down, you are his light in the darkness. You’re only you, of course, but you are the human being given to him for such a time as this. Your thoughtful listening ear and equally wise response to his self doubt and fear is not trying to figure out what he wants to hear. You are focusing on God, His wisdom, Scripture and its message: then as it comes to mind you breathe a prayer and just say it.
“Sure,” many wives say, “I have lost all excitement about this marriage and his future. He doesn’t meet my needs. He is visionless.” What does excitement have to do with anything?
Your mission for this marriage, this one life you’ve been granted, freely given by God for this set amount of time and space . . . your mission is to make a difference.
Go, believe in your husband (because he is created in God’s own image, too . . . same as you). Choose to believe in him, because it is a choice to do so. Do it because there is no one else who will gain as much as you by walking this road, or lose as much by deciding to abdicate. You might be the spark of hope ignited in his head and mind and heart by this decision.
Don’t stand around waiting to be told what to do. Don’t selfishly pout and complain . . . about your husband or your lot in life or your future: go and believe in God, then choose to believe in this man you married.
This one thing you can do now: Listen to your husband! And listen too with your heart.