Without interdependence between a man and a woman, there would be no history . . . and no future. There certainly would not be captivating romance novels that draw us in and inspire us, no fascinating interaction between male and female that makes a house a home. If you even superficially study the motivations, perspectives and drives of men and women, they are different, counterpart, complimentary, and, in a way: equal. Both with minds, creativity, spiritual acuity, a sense of humor, a persona that is unique . . . there are innate differences in men and women that, when brought together, make a good marriage powerful. A good marriage is like a lantern shinning through the darkness on a snowy, black night.

It took too many years for my sense of significance to bud and finally fully open up enough to add myself and and what I thought to our marriage: but when it happened our romance continued to grow as well. My admiration for my forty year marriage partner, Eric, has only grown as we practice this equal and counterpart relationship. He is rather stern on the surface. I used to be intimidated by it. No more! He gets away with nothing. I love and probe and tease and confront. He is an equalizer and best friend . . . not hesitant to comfort or confront me.

We both changed after the onset of his colon cancer a few years ago, then my breast cancer this year. Both of us grew deeper, we both appreciate life and beauty . . . and each other . . . more than ever. A therapist told me a few days ago, “You and Eric are so different.” True! Therein is the fascination and romance. He grows and changes. I grow and change.

I think it is godless philosophy to propagate the idea that men and women are the same. From the beginning “God made them male AND female” (emphasis added): this infers difference, if not oppositeness. Both are human beings created in the image of God and not much more than this is the same.

Recognize the interdependence. It is essential to romance, to a fulfilling marriage . . . and yes, to the future of the human race. Both a married man and a woman are wiser because of the influence of the other; If we watch, listen and learn! The very differences in perspective are a safeguard; where one is cautious, the other is adventurous. Where one is visionary, the other is conservative. Marriage is a good road to balanced thinking.

Interdependence is humbling too. We cannot be loners and flourish.

Lizzie Julin

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