The man was created first, so the Bible says. Then God, to fill a great void, to give him an equal to interact with, laugh, talk, walk, create and build a future with, God created you. A woman was created. “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man . . . (the man in the Hebrew text is “mankind”; meaning it is not good for a man or woman to be alone). Genesis 2:18
If God has this kind of a good plan for you and for that man you will marry, just allow the natural flow to happen in your life and future.
Here is a key fact: before marriage, you are the pursued; a man is the pursuer. He knows (though women often don’t) that he is a leader; it is instinctive in a man’s personality to be the initiator in a romance. It is in a man’s DNA to pursue a woman. Do you doubt this? Look at Scripture again:
God said, “For this cause shall a man leave father and mother and cleave to his wife . . . (cleave means in Hebrew: “to catch by pursuit” “to follow close, hard after”. Genesis 2:24
It is in the mind of a man (except for men gifted in celibacy) to know he needs a woman; God created that need.
I believe every man knows instinctively that he should protect, nourish and cherish a woman when he marries. If you or another female takes the lead, before marriage, in an initiative that shows too much interest beyond being “a warm, kind, smart woman” he will run.
If you chase a man, and he does marry you, all the rest of your life you will wonder if he would have pursued you, had you let him.
So here is opportunity before you: become the best you can become: spirit, soul and body. “I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.” I Th 5:23
You desire the love of a man, you want a good man. And though you may not know just how much (until after you marry) you want a man of integrity. You want to be proud of this man for the rest of your life.
When he walks into your life, this amazing man you have prepared yourself for, you are ready to meet him as a counterpart. You have grown to know God, to know yourself . . . gifts, temperament, personality and style, and you are quietly confident that God will lead him to pursue you.
By deepening your spirit, your depth of relationship with God and focusing on growing wise, pure and good, by kindness, shining intellect, your best style and beauty you will make a confident wife.
When he walks into view, what will he see! He will have instincts that men have: he will know if you are a virtuous woman . . . if he himself is a good man. (A little aside here: “virtue” is a power like an army in its good effect and influence.)
Let this be who you are and a good man will recognize you.