[This post is by Eric Julin, Lizzie’s husband]
Adults are a product of their childhood. A child will develop into an adult largely influenced by their observations of their parents: what they do, how they act, how they treat each other.
Why does a man who oppressively dominates his wife, daughters and sons find himself using those techniques? He likely has seen his own father abusing his role as a man. He may be in a community of men who live in that mode. He goes to a church, synagogue, temple or mosque where men are even encouraged to be that way. His work environment contains men who approach women with disrespect. He chooses friends who share these methods.
The trouble is, if he does not change, his sons will learn that way and demonstrate the dysfunction. His daughters will have to go outside their upbringing to realize their unique potential, opportunity and freedom. His wife must confront an overbearing atmosphere within her marriage. The one who should be her greatest supporter is adversary number one.
The result is a family that is not fully vibrant and functional. To put it in a man’s terms: it’s not firing on all cylinders. It is broken and needs to be fixed. The breakdown begins with a “head” that is “sick” and the man’s wife is weakened, if not totally disabled. “The whole head is sick, the whole heart faint”. (Isaiah 1:5)
Ultimately, each individual is accountable for his own thoughts and actions. However, most everyone has experienced the influence of a father and that father may be responsible for some of the wife’s and children’s bent or missing parts.
This sad commentary points to the problem of obsessive domination, but offers no fixes. It opens up many areas for discussion. What are your ideas of how the situation should be “fixed”? Leave a comment. . .
What can the father do?
What can the wife do?
What can the son do?
What can the daughter do?