A daughter, wife, mother is disrespected and demeaned when she is watched so closely that she must hesitate, fearing to make a decision or speak her mind.

I have recently seen the result of a controlling husband.  His wife is bitter; she is deeply disrespected and feels it. She has harsh words about him (usually behind his back) and leads a covert life just to survive. The relationship with her husband shows.  It is a sad marriage. This woman wishes not to be around her husband.  One woman I heard from doesn’t care if her husband dies.  She is showing the results of “submission” required by a tyrant of a husband who has abused his privileged position.

How sad.  He could have learned instead how to nourish and cherish her. He could have been the head in his marriage, leading by vision, example, integrity and (dare I say it) love.  He could have obeyed Scripture which tells him to love his wife.  (Eph 5:25, Col 3:19)

Have you noticed the Scripture provides no specifics on how to control a wife?  The Bible nowhere tells him to dominate her, tell her what to do, how to do it.  That type of instruction isn’t in the Bible.  If you think you know of such biblical instruction please tell me book, chapter and verse.

A whole woman given the respect she deserves will show who she really is. It will show if she is honest, loyal and good person.  If she is good, she needs no control.  Her submission to God and her husband will be like the wise woman in Proverbs 31.  She is creative, independent thinking, adding to the conversation.

Most men marry good women. Women respond to love, respect, nourishing and cherishing.  A loving, respectful husband wins the honor a wife is yearning to give.  Women have great admiration for a loving husband.

No matter the country, the culture, the history, a woman needs the freedom to think, make decisions.  Her thinking is developed through her freedom.  She then decides what to do with it. Thus her husband will never need to do ALL the thinking in the marriage.  He perceives the good judgment of his wife who may come up with a new and better way.  The coming to agreement between a male and female is a safety net for the future of their marriage.

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