I failed to speak up with courage before I understood the balance of power God instilled between women and men. In our marriage, I had a strong point of view; I even felt it in my chest when differences between us came up – – but I was not at all sure what God expected of me. Mistakenly, I thought submission MEANT silence. But there was more. I misunderstood the Bible growing up: I was afraid that speaking up with different or opposing views would turn into an adversarial relationship with my family and Eric, my husband.
Submission in every marriage should go both ways. The balance of power, the difference in the perspective of women to men is a safeguard to marriage. As the Bible says, we should be “Submitting one to another in the fear of God . . .” (Ephesians 5:21). This is an important and challenging choice for every married couple.
In the past some in the Church would “add to Scripture” giving men outright control over their wives and daughters, as if it were wrong for them to express an opinion. It was common for husbands to tell women how to run their lives and how to run the household. They took taking control, many times leaving the hard, emotionally draining work to the women.. (Nowhere in the Bible does it tell husbands to tell their wives what to do.)
Men nourishing and cherishing their wives as their own bodies is a powerful charge to men (Ephesians 5:28). Christian women can expect such from a good man.
Your balance of power works. you have leverage. Men know better how to be a good husband when you, with respect, step up! Like good women in history you have innate powerful wisdom. Not only is a marriage better, but the culture, with more powerful, wise, courageous women,. Note that Deborah the Judge, Huldah the prophetess, changed the future of their nation. “Wisdom cries without; SHE utters HER voice in the streets . . .;” (Proverbs 1:20).
However strong women can also lead the wrong way. Women who rebelled against God were a strong influence in the time of Jeremiah the Prophet; they said defiantly, “And when we burned incense to the queen of heaven, and poured out drink offerings unto her, did we make her cakes to worship her, and pour out drink offerings unto her, without our men?” (Jeremiah 44:19). .
Every female has a counterpart point of view to a man. Because you are a female “created in the image of God” you have wisdom that is uniquely in you. Assuming your privileged position brings more love and more respect between you and your husband. You both achieve balanced decisions in your marriage.
This is key: “But speaking the truth in love . . . grow up . . .” (Ephesians 4:15). You have a challenge, a power, and a privileged place twenty-four seven. You can step up, speak up, speak out and change the dynamics of your life together.
He may react to you because your views are often surprising to him! But that is the very reason “male and female created He them in His own image.” Ponder it first, then “speak the truth in love”