“It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.” (Pro 21:9)
If the despotic rule of a husband is countered by a domineering reaction from his wife, what has been accomplished?
Your power as a wife is supernatural when it is applied to your marriage as God designed. You are significant just because you are, not because of how you react!
Domineering wives are about as obnoxious as despotic men. Neither wins the other but seeks to control. Of course you can altar the life of another, but one person cannot really change another. You can only change yourself. And it is the Holy Spirit that works inside you to “will and to do of his good pleasure.” (Phi 2:13). God gives you grace and vision and the knowhow to “go, do and become” a wise woman.
But we are half of this “two shall be one flesh”. We have the female side of the perspective that is the safeguard for the future. Women are innately good at counsel. She has the ability to empathize. She has a “she bear” like protective instinct for her husband and household.
Women do not need to domineer to be effective. Be cerebral, courageous, and visionary; consider the future when you speak. Be careful to understand what God has for you, your power, vulnerabilities and privileges. “Wisdom has built her house; she has hewn out her seven pillars.” (Pro 9:1)
Historically men “owned” their wives, (at least in their minds). Women were not allowed to sign legal documents, could not vote in political elections. There was no recourse from violent husbands, except to flee…but to where? (Sadly this is true still in some countries today.) The Bible teaches none of those things.
To God the woman is significant. He personifies Wisdom as a woman: “Wisdom crieth without; SHE uttereth HER voice in the streets:” (Pro 1:20 ) “Say unto wisdom, Thou art my SISTER; and call understanding thy KINSWOMAN”: (Pro 7:4) “Doth not wisdom cry? and understanding put forth HER voice?” (Pro 8:1) “Wisdom hath builded HER house, SHE hath hewn out HER seven pillars:” (Pro 9:1) [Emphasis mine] In Proverbs 31 the woman is free and significant and independent within her marriage…at least enough to buy and sell in the marketplace. Evidently she signed legal documents as well: she “strengthens HER arm,” she “considers a field and buys it” and “strength and honor are HER clothing…” and much more.
We have a better recourse than to react to fear and become domineering women. God has considered you the symbol of wisdom in His word. Wisdom is powerful as an army.