As a fallen human being there is more than one part of me that needs healing. Since God says we are “spirit, soul and body” what could be more profoundly in need of healing than the spirit and the soul? The eternal part of me is of much greater importance than the body. I need not to be harboring grievances there.
Cancer has brought me an awareness of the uselessness of hurts that I have struggled with for many years. Though I have tried and worked hard to forgive, until now I have been unable to let go of a sense of disrespect from others. Hurt from the perceived disrespect from other people has wound its way into my spirit and soul, much like a cancer.
How selfish and silly to have to work so hard at forgiveness. It should be easy to forgive seeing that Jesus has forgiven me of every foolish, stupid, sinful deed in my past. It is nothing short of arrogance to hang onto imagined accusations in my soul, the “sins” of others. Maybe they have not sinned against me at all; maybe the “disrespect” was a misunderstanding, only a perception.
If cancer gives perspective like this, if it brings a new outlook of what is important and what is not, it is a surprising source of healing. As I was singing a song in the congregation in Church I realized that I sensed freedom from hurts deep within my soul.
Every person, including me, has power to look inside, polish their gifts, use them, give them away, serve others hoping for nothing back. This is what constitutes personal power; it cannot be stopped. It is indeed a work of God through the Holy Spirit to live a life free of grudges; being free from the burden of accusations toward others. He has in love allowed the perspective that comes with having cancer to set me in a better place.