I have read just the first 67 pages (of Submission is not Silence) and I am learning a lot. I’m still confused about submitting to my husband. No matter what we say, our husbands have the final decision whether it is right or wrong. Do we have to go with their decision if we feel it is wrong? And if not, how would you go against his wrong decision and do the right one?
Good question, Jaimee. Think about this important topic this way: What is “right”, what is “wrong” is not always clear. It may be a matter of opinion. (An example: Should you move to Michigan or to California? It seems that coming to agreement because both of you have the “mind of Christ” would bring the right decision). You may “know you are right” and he may “know he is right”, (if not careful arrogance and self centeredness may be at stake.) Therefore learning to “hear” and respect each other, learning how to respectfully come to agreement gives the honor both of you deserve.
Through the process of coming to agreement you learn from each other because (usually) you will have opposite perspectives. Your oppositeness is a safety net for the future. Women are strong, loyal “she-bear” defenders of their home and marriage. You are given the intelligence, power and wisdom to be “guide of the house” meaning in Greek “ruler of a family”: this infers decision making, innate wisdom (in fact wisdom is personified as female in Proverbs). Look at the power and freedom and privilege of the married woman in Proverbs 31. You make the house a warm, loving place of puffy pillows and pictures. You need freedom and power to think and grow and make it happen. Men are single minded, protectors of their marriage and household. “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge (science), giving honor to the wife . . . “; “you are “heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” I Pe 3:7. You are as his body; “For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church.” Eph 5:29 Why would a husband who “nourishes and cherishes” his wife, as Christ does for the Church make a decision on his own! Why would a husband who is commanded to “make a science” of understanding his wife, and who is commanded to give her honor, defy her opinion, negate her views and make a solo decision! Nowhere in Scripture does God tell men to make final decisions. Nowhere does the Bible teach that a woman “waits around like a servant, child or slave” to be told what to do. No, you have the “mind of Christ” and so does your husband if you have both accepted the Lord and are born again of the Spirit of God.
PS Let me know what you think.
With that I am confused by Gen 3:16 “Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband and he shall rule over thee.” What does that mean to rule over thee?
AN ANSWER FOR JAIMEE: NEXT BLOG